Jan 10 2009
The Juggler
Life is so much about the balancing act, isn’t it? This weekend is going to be very challenging for me. I want to spend time with my boyfriend and my son. However, I’m nearing the end of the semester. As a teacher, I need to have the students’ papers back to them in a “timely” fashion. So the papers that I’ve been putting off since November should probably be returned before the have to take their exams…
This is so foreign for me. Before my ex left, I would get to work by 6:45am and leave around 5:00 or 5:30pm. I often took work home, and did that until I went to bed. I never got behind like this. What I’m finding now is that I want to be at home. And when I’m home, I want to be present. I don’t want to be working on other work - I want to be with my boyfriend and my son.
This is how I know that I’m making the right decision. Yes, there are days where I am concerned that maybe - just maybe - I’m not making the right choice for my son. I never question that I’m making the right choice for myself - but I worry for Jay. When I look back at the joy I have now being wholly present, I know that there was something wrong with my marriage and with my workaholism.
That said, I will lose my job if I don’t get this stuff graded. So as I write this, my boyfriend and my son are getting to play (SOOOOO jealous!) and I’ve locked myself in my room with my iPod and the cat and my homework. My goal is to spend one day away from them grading, so that tomorrow can be our family day. You’d think that after all these years I’d be good at this balancing act, but I’m apparently a not-so-good juggler. Any advice? I’m all ears (my hands are too busy juggling)…
