Phoenix Rising

Getting divorced is no easy matter. I love how some people say, “Well, at least you have an amicable divorce.  That’s nice.”  Seriously?  What is wrong with you people?  Even the amicable divorces are emotionally wrenching and provide one with unforeseen obstacles and issues.  There is no such thing as an “amicable” divorce.  Divorce sucks. Period. There is, however, some silver lining - once everything is finalized, you get a second chance at life.  You get to become the person you’ve always wanted to be.  This is my hope and what I cling to.  That I can rebuild my life and be the best mother for my son.

I realized that things were wrong in my marriage slowly.  It was a nagging thought here, a lonely feeling there.  One day, I reconnected with an old friend of mine, Alan.  Al was with another woman, and he and I met for a simple cup of coffee.  He and the girl hadn’t been together very long, and I was frightened for them.  Already, only 4 months in, they were hanging out in separate rooms, sometimes going to sleep with hardly a word between them.  And sex?  Forget about it.  I was scared for there future - what would happen in six months?  Six years?  What scared me more than anything, though, was that it was a description of my marriage.  That was the final straw - I examined my relationship and realized that for it to work, my husband had to be a completely different person.  I decided then and there that things needed to change.  It wasn’t fair to me, to him, nor - most importantly - to our son.

Since then, Alan also left his woman.  He and I started spending more time together, and have since ended up dating.  Since he already knew my son, this was a very natural transition for us.  I’m thrilled about the whole thing, to be honest.  Everything is SO different from my marriage, but even so, I am cautious as to how I move forward from here.  I don’t want to be here again in ten years.

So that’s my story in a nutshell.  Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, I begin my life over.  I am SO lucky - I get a second chance to get it right!  My plan for this blog is to be an outlet for me.  I will hold nothing back from you, in the hopes that you may find inspiration here.  Being a single mom is hard.  Being a divorcée is hard.  Dating while being a divorced single mom is hard.  You’re not alone, and I’m not either.  So, if you’re interested, tell me about your story.  What brings you here?